Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Donations in

Several days ago I sent out a massive call for relief supplies.  To date, all but my sleeping bag has arrived.  I'm actually not sure it's going to get here in time so there may be yet another trip to REI tonight. 

I wanted you all to see what I've received.  My original thought was to take a photo but I can't.  I'm running out of sunlight and time and I really need to get packing.  I'm guessing you all have fairly active imaginations and can mentally picture what this will look like, or rather what my living room looks like right now.

To date, I have received the following:
  • 178 bars of soap
  • 140 toothbrushes
  • 93 tubes of toothpaste
  • 208 protein bars
  • 137 pairs of underwear
  • 81 packets of tissue paper
  • seven jackets
  • seven duffel bags
  • two blankets
  • ten shirts
  • three pairs of pants
  • 60 pairs of socks
  • 200 diapers
  • ten large packages of baby wipes
  • 30 packets of small baby wipes
  • 200 packages of sanitary napkins
  • 30 boxes of Band-Aids
  • 20 bottles of hand sanitizer
  • 50 t-shirts
  • four bottles of multivitamins
And other things I can't think of at the moment.  These will be donated to the people who need them in a variety of locations.

Thank you again for your support, generosity and kindness.

Nerves in overdrive

That knot I've had in my stomach for the past....what....four days?  I can't control it anymore.  I'm going to throw up.  It's a matter of time.  My nerves are in overdrive. 

Jennifer is downstairs packing and sorting.  Boxes are still arriving.  I couldn't do this without her.  I'm sitting upstairs near the bathroom so when all comes pouring out I won't have to run to get to a safe place to let it out. 

Ugh.  I haven't even left yet and this is what I'm going through.  What am I going to be like when I'm there?

Cold feet

I woke up with a headache.  It's because I decided to give up caffeine yesterday, knowing I will likely not have access to hot water while I'm Japan.  I'm going through caffeine withdraw.  I decided to fix that by giving up caffeine once I'm there.  I can't get through the next several days without my tea.  I suppose I should warn the team once I'm there that I will have two days of massive head aches and that I will be a bit cranky.  What better way to break the ice than to show them I'm human (code for has-the-potential-to-be-bitchy-without-caffeine) as we will be spending 24 hours a day together for the next two months.  Might as well show them the bad side of me right off the bat.  Or, am I doing this the wrong way?  The thing is, I'm not sure I care.

Because.......I'm getting cold feet.  I'm still going.  Don't get me wrong.  My departure is in less than 24 hours.  I have a ton of things to do.  At the top of that list is getting rid of this head ache.  The cold feet part comes from the fact not only am I going into a hell-zone but I'm doing so with complete and total strangers.  I'm capable of faking it and being nice to people I don't particularly like.  The problem is, I've never done that when I've been around those same people for 24 hours a day and have no break from them.  I'm not assuming I won't actually like them.  It's just one of those "great unknowns" that I can't control.  Maybe I will be in such a state of shock dealing with all the devastation around me that I won't necessarily be focusing on the personalities around me.  I just can't say.

So, cold feet.  I'm trying to stay relaxed.  I'm trying to remain calm without denying myself my feelings.  I'm anxious.  I'm confused.  I have too much to do.  My mantra for today is to focus on nice people doing nice things and being nice to myself in the process.  If that means I don't get to every phone call or respond to every e-mail, you'll know not to take it personally, I hope.  Please.  It's not personal.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Confession

I promised I would tell the truth, didn't I?  I owe it to you.  So, here it is.  I have a confession.  I have another blog.

Now, I don't want you to feel like I've been cheating on you.  It wasn't meant to be a secret.  I saw the other blog as hitting a different target audience but I realized as I kept writing on both I wanted you to know about each other.

I want to share with you what the other blog is about and why I'm writing it.  I am more than angry at the way the media has portrayed the triple-disasters in Japan.  Specifically, I am absolutely livid the focus has been almost exclusively on the "impending nuclear disaster" and words that only induce fear in us.  The fact the reporting has been focused on the nuclear issue at the expense of reporting about the people who are still very much affected--this is journalism at its worst.  My goal is to try to get people in positions who can influence the media to get the focus back onto the people and also to put pressure on others to raise more money.  With that said, here is what the other blog is called:  www.whereisgeorgeclooney.com.  Please feel free to check it out.  I will tell them about this blog as well.

Much love and gratitude to you all.

My latest dilmemma

Sleep has done me wonders.  I'm back to feeling like myself again.  Considering I am back to my old self, confident I can take on the world (at least for now) I am going to share a story with you that I hope will make you laugh.

I took a sleeping pill last night before 9pm and I was out cold before I knew it.  I woke up feeling refreshed.  Life is good, right?  As I'm laying in bed trying to get myself up to face another day my husband comes in having freshly showered after his morning exercises to wish me a good morning.  He has a huge grin on his face.  I know something is up.

"You were snoring last night," he says.
"I was not!" I reply
"You were.  It was cute."
"Humph."  I pout.

For the record, I most certainly do not snore.  I certainly don't remember snoring last night!  So then, here's my new dilemma.  Do I knock myself out on the flight?  I like to sleep on flights to Japan so I can get my body switched over to Japan time as quickly as possible.  Then again, on the off chance I was snoring last night (and if it was, it was most certainly a one-time, isolated incident) do I assume this will happen again, this time on the flight?  Do I expose those sitting around me on my flight to my snoring?  Of course, since I don't snore I shouldn't really be worrying about this at all, right?

Worrying about little things like this takes the sting off of what I'm told I'm about to see.  It's good to laugh even if it's at myself as I doubt I will be laughing like this for awhile.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Meltdown in Trader Joe's

My husband and I went to Trader Joe's tonight.  He needed salad ingredients and I was buying $100 worth of nuts and protein bars to distribute from check I received today in the mail.  (Thanks, Angela!)  While we're at the checkout line, David Bowie's "We Could Be Heroes" comes on and my husband leans over to me and says, "in your case not just one day but 60."  There's a line in the song that goes "we could be heroes, just for one day."  Of course I start crying.  In Trader Joe's.  In the checkout line.  It's just been one of those days.

I'm going to bed early tonight.  I need sleep.  I'm going to appreciate the fact I have sleep medication at my disposal.  I need to just sleep.  Tomorrow will bring an entirely new set of adventures, I'm sure.

Nerves

Today is not a good day.  I'm having mini meltdowns all over the place.  I'm emotionally exhausted and then I tell myself "you're not even there yet!" and then the tears come all over again.  I'm having an adrenaline crash.  I know this.  Knowing it is good, I'm told.  That doesn't help much when I'm going through these emotional highs and lows.

I have a knot in my stomach.  It's that knot we all get when we're really nervous or really scared.  I tell my friend Miki this and she yells into the phone "Of course you have a knot in your stomach!  You're doing something really stupid and absolutely amazing."  Okay.  I'll accept that.

It all started with two e-mails I got first thing in the morning.  One person wrote concerned I will come back with PTSD.  I haven't responded yet.  I honestly don't know what to say.  The other was from my mother who reminded me Rikuzentakata (one of the cities I'm going to) is where the nurses and the doctors had to flee for their lives and run to higher floors in the hospital, leaving the patients downstairs to die.  They couldn't save anyone without putting themselves in danger.  The word is they ran up the stairs hearing the screams from those on the lower floors.  Survivor guilt.  These are the people I'm going to distribute medical goods to.  What am I supposed to say to them?

How am I not supposed to cry when I hand out surgical masks and adult diapers?  The thing is, if I do cry I will need to use tissue paper--precious tissue paper that I am taking along because they don't have toilet paper.

I couldn't sleep last night.  The last time I looked at the clock it was 3:30 am.  Then, and this is a minor miracle in itself, I woke up at 6:30 when my husband's alarm went off.  Those of you who don't know me need to realize I am not a morning person.  I am one of those hit-the-snooze-five-times person (which means I set the alarm 50 minutes before I actually have to get up).  I don't do much of anything well on three hours of sleep.  That's just yet another sign I'm running on pure adrenaline

Tonight I will knock myself out and hope I sleep through the night.  No tea after 5pm.  I also haven't had lunch.  I'm honestly not hungry.  I'm telling myself I have to shrink my stomach because I don't know how much food I'll have access to.  The volunteer organization I'm going with feeds me 6 days a week but I haven't heard where they're getting their food from.  I think by the end of May I will never want to eat another protein bar again.

On a happier note here's what was donated today:

  • a check from my cousin
  • two huge duffel bags and a mess of toiletries from Jill
  • two more checks promised from two more aunts
  • a box of new underwear, batteries, and toiletries from Richard in Alabama
  • a huge allotment of protein bars and dehydrated food packages
  • a sleeping mat (so I don't actually have to sleep on the floor) from Kevin
  • a water sterilizer thing from Annette
 I can only hope I will figure out how to tell people once I'm there who you all are.  The thing is, and perhaps this is one the most beautiful parts of it all, I don't even know some of you.  Okay.  Need another tissue......

And, I swear I will never take toilet paper for granted again.  Ever.

The Giving Tree

Read this and weep.  Here is a list of organizations and individuals who have, to date, moved mountains.  Don't tell me people don't care.  Don't tell me people aren't willing to do the right thing.

Organizations:

United Airlines
Apple
Target
Sephora
Backpacker Magazine
Keen
Mountain Hardware

Individuals:

  • Miki put me in touch with Amy who put me in touch with United Airlines (who created a minor miracle)
  • Annette sent me clothes to wear (I'm not an outdoors kind of girl) while I muck around in tsunami-disaster areas
  • Annette also got Keen and Backpacker Magazine to donate gear for me
  • Michelle gave me her hiking backpack as well as a jar of peanut butter, a jacket and other goodies
  • Christine is sending supplies
  • Diane is sending toiletries
  • Doug is sending a whole load of donations
  • Niho sent out an e-mail to 600 people asking for contributions to www.hands.org and for donations for me to take along
  • Judy came through with a ton of little bars of soap and a bucket full of toothbrushes
  • Becca brought protein bars, Band-aids toothbrushes and more
  • Murasaki (whom I met for the first time yesterday) gave me a ton of money with which to buy diapers and other necessities
  • Youko, whom I haven't seen in 20 years is sending cash to spend on relief supplies
  • Beth, my dear NY friend whom I haven't seen in 10 years also sent money for relief supplies
  • Rona gave me a duffel bag, blankets, clothing and toiletries
  • Dave came bearing a duffel bag (your daughters are gorgeous!)
  • Amy's 4th grade students are writing letters for me to take along to children in Japan
  • Jill is coming over with more supplies
  • My mother is sending a check
  • My aunt is sending a check
  • I asked my mother-in-law for a donation (try to understand how huge this is for me) and she's contributing
  • My sister-in-law is sending a check
  • My dear friend Becca whom I haven't seen in 20 years is sending a check
  • Jason is bringing an extra duffel bag 
Then there are those who want to help by writing articles or posting information on their Twitter account.  I can't make this up.  People are coming out of nowhere.  I'm impressed in ways I can't even begin to describe.

Chew on this.  I stopped going to church several years ago.  The pastor has no idea who I am but I wrote to the church anyway and asked them to help with donating toiletries.   I've already gotten help.

People are amazing.  Don't let them tell you otherwise.  It's an honor for me to be in the middle of this watching it all unfold.  Seriously.

    Sunday, March 27, 2011

    Fly United!

    I'm not allowed to get specific on what United Airlines has done for me to get me to Japan but let's just say I am incredibly touched by their generosity and support.  I got to a United Airlines representative through five friends.  That means, get this, a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of mine made this happen.  Today.  It's Sunday today, you know.  She got this done on her day off.  When she told me what she had done I cried on the phone, and I hate crying in front of strangers.

    All this to say, for your next trip please consider flying United Airlines.  There are good people out there and many of them work at United.

    Thank you again, United.  You rock.  I'm grateful in ways you can hardly imagine.  Shout out to United!!

    Friends of friends

    You'll all learn as you read my postings that I really think adding a bit of spice to stories is a great way to keep life interesting.  It also keeps the attention of those to whom I'm telling the story.  In other words, I have a tendency to exaggerate.  Sometimes.  Just a bit.

    What I'm about to share with you contains no exaggeration, embellishing, modifying or spicing up.  This is the real deal.  I have a healthy imagination and use it often but this one would be difficult for me to make up.

    Let me back up just a bit.  Before the earthquake and tsunami hit Japan earlier this month, I had two business trips planned.  One was to Dubai and another was to Tokyo.  Once I decided to make myself available to go to Japan and got put on multiple standby lists I called both clients and canceled these trips. 

    Now, I knew when I bought the tickets these were non-refundable tickets.  I knew if I had to cancel the flights for any reason, I had to eat a $250 (per ticket) change fee.  The tickets were both on United Airlines.   I decided to call United and beg for mercy.  If I'm going to Japan for two months and giving up salary, family, friends and make up then United can eat several thousand dollars.  This was my argument.  I would say it nicely, of course. 

    I put out a mass e-mail to anyone who might have contacts at United.  I knew after the first call to United they were sympathetic and supportive but "sorry, we can't change our policy" was what I would continue to hear.  I needed to talk to someone who would actually take on my situation personally.  I needed friends to hit up their friends for a contact at United.

    This is where it gets interesting.  I get a call on my cell phone from a number I don't recognize and take it because, well, after I've told people I'm going to Japan I've been getting calls from all over the place.  I take the call and hear this "Hi!" and proceed to "meet" Amy from Washington who's best friend works at United.  Of course she does.  We end the call with "I'll put you in touch with her!"  We exchange e-mails and next thing you know Lili from United is on board.  I'm still a bit confused as to who Amy is and how she found me but I let it go.  These kinds of things have been happening the last several days and I'm just trying to be grateful for the support I'm getting and not necessarily ask delving questions as to who they are.

    I'm sharing this story with Miki saying I'm so totally impressed and touched and truly humbled by the support people are showing me and she stops me and says,
    "Amy is Jo's friend."  I pause for a minute and say
    "Okay, sweetheart.  This means nothing to me." 
    "Amy is my Frontierville neighbor.  From Facebook.  Jo's my friend.  Amy's Jo's friend. Lili, the one helping you, is Amy's friend. I don't know Lili and the only reason I know Amy is through Frontierville.  We both needed neighbors and so we connected.  Jo must have contacted Amy after she saw my Facebook posting about you needing a contact at United."

    Okay.  I'm not a woman of few words.  I like to talk.  This means I'm very seldom at a loss for words.  When Miki tells me a friend of a friend from a Facebook game got in touch with me to put me in touch with yet another friend to help me--it takes awhile to sink in.  People are good.  (Not everyone, of course.  I'll have a posting on one such person later.)

    This is the kind of thing that's been happening for the past 72 hours.  People from all over are calling, writing, and sending things.  I'll write more about the list of things I've gotten and am getting sent to me.  I swear.  I can't make this up. 

    Saturday, March 26, 2011

    All Hands Volunteers

    Let me make myself very clear:  I am NOT bad-mouthing large relief organizations.  Some are corrupt, I'm sure.  I'm not talking about those.  I'm talking about the big-name groups that have a presence.  My attempt in talking about All Hands Volunteers (http://hands.org/) is to say small is beautiful.   All Hands is not a huge organization with a large overhead.  This means more of the money goes straight to the actual relief work, and quicker.  I like this.  This makes sense to me.  Sometimes it's necessary to have organizations that can pull together a large-scale effort and mobilize people quickly.  Other times it's important to have small organizations that just pick up and go and get themselves on the ground right away without going through the politics and red tape.  All Hands is the latter.

    I found out about All Hands through the Japan Society of Boston.   I told my friends there I was willing to volunteer and to pass my name along to anyone contacting them.  Within a few hours e-mails were flying back and forth between me and the Executive Director of All Hands.

    May I just go on record and say I have the utmost respect for the people who work at and volunteer for All Hands.  I hope to able to share stories about them, with them and let you know what we're all doing in Japan.

    The Executive Director is en route back from Japan as I write this.  I plan to meet with him early next week to get up to speed and to share whatever he has to say.  Stay tuned.

    How this all began

    When the earthquake struck off the coast of Sendai on March 11th, it brought down much of the towns up and down the eastern coast of Honshu.  Then the waves came, washing away people, buildings, cars, houses and more.  We've seen the video clips.  They're horrific.

    Then came the news about the damaged Fukushima Nuclear Plant.  All hell broke loose with the world worrying about impending doom.  I'm not trying to make light of how serious a nuclear meltdown can be.  Not at all.  I'm simply trying to outline facts.  For now, at least. 

    I started making and getting calls several days after the 11th asking if I could/would be willing to go to Japan to help with the relief efforts.  I'll write more about this particular process later.  Fast forward two weeks after the 11th and I have word I am leaving for Japan on the 31st for two months.  I'm going.  This is real.

    I will be working with a Boston-based relief organization called All Hands Volunteers (www.hands.org).  I will be in Rikuzentakata and Ohfunato, two towns essentially wiped out by the tsunami.  I'm going with the realization I don't really know what I'm getting into but that I can contribute to at least some relief. 

    This blog will be an ongoing journal of my time in Japan as well as the days leading up to my departure.  I already have a lot to say and assume I will have much to report once I'm there.  I promise to be honest.  I promise to not capitalize on the pain of those I see.  I promise I will not mince words.  I promise I will try to remain objective.  I promise to be grateful as often as I can.

    Consider this your cordial invitation to spend the next two months with me as I go through something I cannot possibly prepare for and experience seeing devastation first hand.  My goal is to show you what's really going on in Japan.  In return, I ask for two things:  spread the word and help any way you can.  I have thoughts on both which I will share in subsequent postings.