The Kindness of Strangers: Part 2

In my most humble opinion I do believe I have the answer to why there was next to no looting or rioting after the multiple disasters that hit Japan last month.  The answer lies in taxi drivers.  Rather, it lies in what taxi drivers personify.  Let me explain.

I will admit I have a bias.  I have a thing for Japanese taxi drivers.  They're really nice to me and nine times out of ten we end up having phenomenal conversations.  Just last night a driver took me to an address and then stopped the car, killed the meter and asked me if I knew where I was going.  I actually didn't.  I had a sense of which way to go and was confident I could figure it out but I didn't know exactly where the place was.  He pulled over, typed in key landmarks into his GPS and took me to the nearest building I recognized and didn't charge me extra.  As I left the car he told me one last time to call my contact instead of wandering around.  Absolute kindness from a man I will never meet again.  I was just a fare.  Did he even know I wasn't Japanese?  I have no idea.  It was dark and we didn't really look at each other while speaking.

Since arriving in Tokyo I've had three drivers ask me if the temperature in their taxi was to my liking.  I've had three others ask which route they'd like me to take.  I usually leave it up to them at which point they ask whether I'd like to get there faster or pay less.

Their cars are impeccably clean.  The seats are covered with a tight cloth cover which has no wrinkles, tears, stains or marks of any kind.  Sometimes the head rests are covered in what I can only describe as doilies.

The drivers are always polite.  Always kind.  Always well mannered.  This, to me at least, personifies the Japanese sense of service, the importance placed on manners and in general, good social behavior.  Which is why I can understand why there was no looting or rioting, why people walked home for 7-12 hours on the day the earthquake hit Tokyo, and why standing in line for hours to use a pay phone was entirely orderly and normal.  Being kind to strangers isn't entirely a foreign concept here.  Good manners matter.  Being polite is an expectation.  I like this about Japan.

The kindness of strangers

I knew very soon after I started this blog I was reaching many people I knew I would never meet.  At the risk of a showing a bit of bravado, this blog has hit many, many, many countries and multiple times at that.  I'm thrilled with how you're all spreading the word and want to be sure you are all properly thanked and feel the gratitude I have for helping to keep those affected by the tsunami on peoples' radar screens.

Those of you whom I don't know are, for a lack of a better word, strangers.  I'll likely never know who you are.  We won't meet.  We won't go out to lunch.  There have been some, however, and we're still talking about "strangers" here, who have gone above and beyond what normally people do for other strangers (as in me).  Case in point:  I have yet to pay for a meal here in Tokyo.  The only thing I've spent money on is taxis and bottles of milk tea I buy out of vending machines.  Everything else (and I do mean everything) has been paid for by "strangers" who want me to have a relaxing time in Tokyo.

I have multiple homes I can stay at for free and with no strings attached.  People feed me.  People send food home with me.  People drive me around.  People make appointments for me.  People listen.  People cry with me.  People give me something else to think about by inviting me out to a movie.  People wine and dine me.  People give advice.  People ask good questions.  People care.  Of course not all of these "people" are strangers.  Some I've known for years.  Others, however, are friends of friends who have read this blog and make guacamole for me.  (JOY!!!) 

I went to Iwate and started this blog for very specific reasons.  I wanted to provide a first-hand, on-the-ground account of what I'm seeing, feeling, observing and hearing for those of you back home.  It was an easy way to hit all of my family and friends at one time with the same information.  That it has turned into my own little therapy tool where I can write to people I don't know with brutal honesty has been an unexpected and yet most welcome surprise.  That those of you who have read this show me the kind of generosity, kindness, support and friendship you have over the past several days--this, too, is an unexpected and most definitely welcome surprise.  I'm truly humbled and grateful.  Thank you so much.

My "Lord Person"

In Japanese, the proper way for a wife to reference her husband in public is to call him her "lord person."  There's a word for "husband" as well, but this isn't used in the same way.  I've told my husband about this "lord person" bit years ago and of course he loves it.  The proper way for a man to refer to his wife in public, and for those of you who don't speak Japanese you'll just have to take my word for it, the word is "inside-the-house."  I have long ago told my husband I'll refer to him my "lord person" in Japan but under no circumstances does he ever get to call me his "inside-the-house."  We laugh about this all the time.

As I meet and talk with people here in Japan many, almost all in fact, ask how my family feels about me being here.  I give my "lord person" a lot of credit saying he's very supportive, patient and encouraged me to go, giving me only one condition.  I have to come back home.

I spoke with him for an hour this morning (thank you, Vonage!) and he told me to tell everyone who has supported me over the past month that he, too, appreciates the generosity, kindness and acceptance of those who have given me a safe place to be.  Please know being away from my "lord person" is possible only because I have people around me who will go beyond the extra mile to make sure I'm well taken care of, fed, pampered and given a space to laugh and cry.  For this, my "lord person" and I are truly humbled, grateful and in awe.  Thank you.