I left for Ofunato with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I wanted peace of mind. On the other hand, I wasn't sure how I would react to seeing torn up buildings again. I wanted to be around certain people. I wanted to avoid others. I wanted to continue listening. I knew some of what I would hear would tear open wounds that had only recently begun to heal.
The answers lie in Ofunato. Closure (a much overused word in my opinion) wouldn't come until I dealt with what I left behind. Knowing this is one thing. Actually dealing with it head on is entirely another matter. But...not being one to avoid conflict (albeit one deeply rooted in my psyche) I woke myself up at 4:30 to catch a 6:15am bullet train.
My recipe for happiness = excitement - dread; healing + tears; sound sleep > dreams; commitment + people/places/causes I love. Not sharing a love of numbers or numerical symbols, I don't know how to express this last one "mathematically" so I will resort to my forte, words. Very little else in life would make me happier than to see Tohoku at peace with itself, its past and its future.
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